i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
