can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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