Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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