i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
