You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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