We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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