Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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