I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just got carded by a ten year old.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Randomize
