yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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