Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
