Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize