we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
