so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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