Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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