So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
