This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
