I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
