Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Hippo gnu deer
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
