Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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