I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
