i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize