so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize