If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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