so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
