There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
