Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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