hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
