I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize