it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
