i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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