Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
