he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
