Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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