Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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