the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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