So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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