I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
