living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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