...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
