Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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