the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize