haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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