A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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