It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
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