i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
