He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
