did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
