you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
