I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
two words: eviction party
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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