We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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