if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
