I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
