I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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