C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
