your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
