if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
