Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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