when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
