i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
