Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
