Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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